to your mother

THOUGHTS ABOUT BEING A MOTHER AND LOVING A MOTHER...FROM A MOTHER OF TWO.







Sunday, May 8, 2022

She May Be Smiling, But She is Fierce




I recently found an important picture and paperwork of Mom's from over 60 years ago when she worked at the patent office. I plan to blog about her time working at the patent office (click here to read about Mom's time with Mr. Tupper). Until then, here's a picture of Mom with her co-workers at the United States Patent Office, circa early 1960's.



(Look closely towards the right of the picture, first row, could that be a young Groucho Marks? Come on, look at those socks.)
 

As Dad tells it, Mom worked circles around those fellows. She researched and approved patents in half the time it took the rest of her co-workers. Just look at her in that picture within the sea of men in black suits and ties. She probably used her home economics degree from Virginia Tech skills to sew that power suit herself. Pay attention to her demeanor...her hands resting calmly in her lap, shoulders loose and relaxed, the sly smirk of her lips, her ankles slightly crossed.

In that sea of black suits, Mom meant business.

Take another look. No one can deny, she was fierce.

Monday, January 17, 2022

Mom's Birthday is January 13th

Greetings!

This post is about Mom. At times when I post about Mom, I include random pictures that don't go with the story but tell a story of their own, just to mix it up a bit. I used to add cute pics of the kids throughout a post, just to keep people updated on what the kids looked like, what they were up to. Well, the kids are now 14 and 12. Cute pictures are no longer a thing. In fact, this is a most recent, elusive family photo from late summer 2021. (Tip: Capture them in the car, get the selfie centered while they are engrossed in their phones, say their names, then *quick* take the pic. Your window of time is small.)


So instead of cute kid pics, you can enjoy cute cat pics. Ziggy (left) and Buzz (right) are here to entertain between the lines.

I like to post on Mom's birthday to reflect upon her life, share some joy she spread, to remember Mom as the kickass person she was. Well, here it is January 17th and not a word on here recently about Mom. I have been living life as is comes; these days life just seems to happen on a daily basis and I deal with what is happening without much thought outside of my daily bubble. And that's fine.

Last spring I was reading a local publication, Southern Maryland Woman Magazine, and came across a small ad about submitting an idea for a possible article. I folded back the page and left it next to my spot on the couch for the next 4 months. I finally took care of business and emailed a little blurb of my writing about Mom. A couple months went by and I received an email expressing interest in my writing, would I like to write about 700-800 words about Mom's story to be published in January 2022? Um, yes please.

I wrote the story almost immediately, whittled it down to the amount of words allotted, and submitted it. Then THIS BIRD EPISODE HAPPENED (THIS HAPPENED TOO) . Wowza. It would have been a powerful story to add to the article, but alas it had already been whittled to the bare bones. A few weeks later, the magazine contacted me saying they wanted to me to write more...enough words for me to piece back the whittled-out AND ADD THE BIRD STORY. I sent in my final draft, some pictures, left the rest up to the incredible people at the magazine, and went about my business. I would occasionally tell people about the article, but had no idea when it would actually be published. Life has been happening on a daily basis, so time went on and "when will the article come out" kept niggling in the back of my head, but I never took action to find out the answer. On January 13th I checked the online magazine site and noted a new cover. I digitally flipped through the pages until I came across page 21 with me and my Mama smiling back at me.

Click here for the website and flip to page 21. 

Happy 87th Birthday, Mom.

Saturday, September 4, 2021

Wait Wait, There's More

 I can't make this stuff up. Rapid fire part dos...

Dad had a car that he wanted Mike and I to sell for him.

We brought the car back to our house in Maryland to sell.

A delightful couple named Greg and Kelly, who live 30 minutes north of Dad, drove 3 hours this morning to purchase the car.

Mike talked with Greg and I talked with Kelly about all sorts of things unrelated to buying the car, as if we were old friends catching up. At one point Kelly and I briefly spoke of her grief from her Mom dying this past spring and Mom's death anniversary yesterday. I thought about telling her of my experience from yesterday morning, but I didn't because I didn't want her to think I was a freak.

As the 4 of us were standing around our driveway wrapping things up, Mike quietly called across the driveway, "Peg, she's back".

The same bird from yesterday, white dot next to it's right eye, was climbing on Mike's shoulder. We were all speechless. I told Kelly and Greg of the show that was put on for me yesterday morning and the meaning behind it. Kelly said in a quiet, straight forward voice, "That's your Mom." I looked at her and said, "It is." As we continued to talk, the bird pecked at Mike's ear and a mole on his neck. 

The bird flitted onto the car Dad sold and pecked around there. Greg held his arm out to encourage the bird and it jumped right onto his arm, repeatedly going from the car to Greg's arm.


 At one point the bird landed on Kelly. It chewed on her straw and futzed around. As the bird was perched on Kelly's arm, pecking at her bracelets, Kelly asked if Mom liked jewelry...Mom had boxes of jewelry.



I explained that I thought Mom was there to thank Kelly and Greg for taking the car off of Dad's hands...similar to Dad being in the same room, in the same bed that Mom was in on the forth floor rehab and Dad saying, "She's still taking care of me"...similar to when neighbor Toni received her first quilt of the month gift from Dad, a thank you to her for providing food for him, and Toni showed us the name of the quilt block...


named "Mrs. Lloyd's Favorite" and we all agreed that Mom was saying thank you to Toni for feeding the old man.

When Greg and Kelly were getting ready to leave, the bird was perched on Greg's truck. Kelly jokingly asked him if they should take it home. With a look of horror on his face he replied, "We can't take her MOM home!"





The miracle bird is a Grackle...Mom used to call them Crackles.

People, well, I'm going to continue to revel in this miracle...and that's all I have to say about that.

Friday, September 3, 2021

You Have to See This to Believe It, I'm Serious

I've got to rapid fire this blog post because I am overwhelmed with freakish emotion, so I'm going to give it to you quick and dirty...

Today is the 4th anniversary of Mom's death.
I was sitting on the back deck and called Juanita to reminisce about Mom.
As we talked of Mom, this happened...


At first I couldn't form words. Then this...

PA - Juanita? There's a bird on me.
Juan - What??
PA - There is a bird sitting on me.
Juan - (laughingly said) Well what??
PA - This bird just flew up and sat on me, it's hoping all over me.
Juan - Well, maybe she's trying to tell us to stop talking about her.



I was flabbergasted. 

I was talking with a dear friend last night, not realizing the next day would be September 3rd, and I mentioned that I rarely feel the presence of Mom. I figure she's busy making people laugh, maybe watching over others that need her protection, and she knows I'm ok so I don't feel her around much. Well today, she really put on a show.



Last night I came across a sweet little amethyst ring of Mom's and decided to use it as a toe ring.




I'd like to think Mom admires it, but I think she's probably judging me for toe rings being trashy or some other such nonsense she would have told me if she were living.







Buzz...


and Ziggy were speechless too.


The flitting, pecking, snuggling went on for an hour.




What a gift for today.

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

A Story in Honor of Mom's 86th Birthday Today



If you know Mom, you know she loved cats.

Mom with Willamina, shortened to Willie (as in Nelson), back in the day. To know what inspired the name Willamina, check out this video on YouTube...

W is for Willamina

But I digress...

For the past couple years Joseph has begged us to get a cat.

My answer: We are still mastering taking care of ourselves, we are not ready to take care of something else.
Mike's answer: I don't like the smell of a litter box. I don't want my house smelling like a litter box.

This past June 2020, Mike was surfing around Facebook and came across this ad from The Feral Cat Rescue of Southern Maryland...


and asked if I thought we should go look at them. We both agreed these guys may be a healthy addition to our isolated family. The foster mom Suzanne is a friend of the family and lives up the hill from us so it was easy to coordinate a face-to-face.


Need I say more?

We brought Ziggy and Buzz home around June 25, 2020 and they have been bringing us laughter and joy ever since.

wee lil Buzz (pink nose)

sweet Boi Ziggy (grey on nose)


The Boiz loved to be together and were usually up to some sort of shenanigans.




As the Boiz continued to get bigger, Ziggy loved to sleep most the day with Buzz wandering around meowing, looking for someone to play with him.


One evening in December, scrolling through social media, I came across this fella.


After some investigation, we learned that this is a bro of our Boiz. He was rescued from under the same trailer a few months after Zig and Buzz, was fostered, adopted, returned to foster family because he was too rambunctious for the older cat in the adoptive family and he was on his way to Petco to see if he would get adopted during the Feral Cat Saviors' adoption event the next day. We said if no one adopted him, we would try him out.

Sabo at Petco that day

Sabo didn't like Petco that day

Suzanne brought him directly from Petco that day to our house. Mike was out and about that Sunday...here's how he got the news that we were adopting Sabo...


We took a chance, taking in a Boi who had been on the streets for 2 months, in and out of foster care, with the reputation of being, well for lack of a better term, a badass. 

Pros: He was the bro of our Boiz, we couldn't let him be out there somewhere, he needed to be with his family. 

Cons: 2 cats is, well 2 cats. 3 cats makes us CAT PEOPLE.

We bit the bullet. We became CAT PEOPLE for the sake of Sabo's fate. We have cat hair on our clothes but our house does NOT smell like a litter box. (This post brought to you by Glade Plugins...plug it in, plug it in People.)

It took a very short time for Sabo to settle in. His rambunctiousness is a great match for Buzz's activity level and Ziggy can continue to be a sleepy-doo all day.

left to right, Ziggy, Sabo, & Buzz

top to bottom, Buzz, Sabo, & Ziggy

Sabo lovin' on Buzz

top to bottom: Sabo, Buzz, and Ziggy enjoying the new cat tree

We often say, "Mom would really get a kick out of the Boiz"... and anyone who knows her would have to agree.

In honor of Mom's 86th birthday today, be sure to find some joy, smile, laugh. Lordy that lady knew how to have a good time.

Friday, November 20, 2020

Amazon Update

Oh Lordy. Here's an update from last weekend...

SATURDAY

Dad somehow gets locked out of Amazon and needs a password to get back in to continue to spend my inheritance.

Dad doesn't know his password.

Dad is internet-password-savvy enough to know how reset his password.

Dad can't get the code to reset his password to work.

I assist Dad in resetting his password.

We use Dad's password-remembering strategy and write the new password on a sticky note and stick it to the lid of his laptop.

Dad continues his Amazon shopping...a package of 3 of something of which I can't reveal or I'll ruin Christmas, a cat toy (when I ask why he is getting the cat toy he says incredulously "For. Your. Cats?" as if he purchases pet toys everyday (I believe Dad has NEVER purchased a cat toy).), another jar of instant coffee. All separate orders. 1 cart at a time.

SUNDAY

I hear reports about the expected 3 packages on Monday, 2 day shipping you know. Some beet root supplements are ordered, arriving Tuesday.

MONDAY

I speak to Dad earlier on in the day. He remembers that 3 packages are coming on Monday but can't remember what he ordered. We discuss his list. He reports that the beet root would come the next day.

Later in the day Dad confirms the arrival of the secret gift, cat toy (my cats don't read this so no spoiler alert there), and instant coffee (Peggy Anne it's the good stuff, Folgers.). Beet root arrives tomorrow.

TOMORROW (TUESDAY)

Dad checks the tracking of the beet root earlier in the day. He reports that it was in New Jersey, went some place else, THEN WAS SENT BACK TO NEW JERSY. Dad believes the beet root supplements will not arrive today. The beet root supplements do not arrive.

WEDNESDAY

The beet root supplements (BRS) arrive. Dad does not complain that it took 3 DAYS instead of 2. He proudly tells me that he put some of the BRS in a smaller jar to put on the counter then put the larger jar on the pantry shelf next to the line up of his other supplements. Dad's supplements are lined up on a shelf in the pantry, you say?

Dad's pantry circa Sat. Nov. 14, 2020

That's a story for another time.

Thursday, November 19, 2020

This Episode is Brought to You By Amazon

 

The latest news of how this pandemic has changed Dad involves online shopping. Dad usually tells me what he wants and I order whatever it is for him because filling out his address and credit card information is a hassle. The Man just last week reported to me that he ordered instant coffee from Amazon. The conversation went something like this...

Dad: I found instant coffee on Amazon. I just clicked on what I wanted and my information was already in saved in there.

PA: Dad that's amazing!

Dad: Yeah, now I ordered (fill in the blank). You know it's easy and it's free shipping.

PA: That's great Dad!

The next few days I received reports on tracking information, when the packages arrived, what packages in which he was still waiting, and praise to Amazon for how easy and quick the process was. Who knew? Dad might be a little late to the binge-shopping of the pandemic, but he's certainly enjoying and he has the cash to pay for it so we're safe...for now.