to your mother

THOUGHTS ABOUT BEING A MOTHER AND LOVING A MOTHER...FROM A MOTHER OF TWO.







Saturday, December 15, 2018

The Cheese Ball

Toni lives next door to Dad. For the past 1.5 years she has brought gourmet, homemade, delicious meals to Dad through out each week. I mean, the woman makes her own noodles for the chicken noodle soup...as Grandma Brooks used to say, delish.


Probably over 10 years ago Dad made a suggestion to one of the locally German Baptist owned markets to add blue cheese to their cheeseball. It was a hit with customers and Windy Knolls still carries it in their deli case. Reminds me of Dad's Pringles story, remind me to tell you another time.


Toni invited Dad over for her family Christmas celebration tonight. Dad wanted to bring something to contribute. He stopped by Windy Knolls, picked up a blue cheese cheeseball and a box of fancy crackers...his contribution to the festivities.


When Dad told me this yesterday, I got a stirring of Mom. Mom always made a contribution (or three) to bring to people's gatherings. It was always something homemade, signature Mom.


Dad is picking up his creation, his blue cheese cheeseball from Windy Knolls, might as well be from his own fridge, signature Dad. He's getting the fancy crackers, not just any old saltines, pulling out all the stops.


I'm sure there will be stories told tonight of how he suggested to Annie that the blue cheese would be another added layer of flavor to her cheeseball recipe. Laughter, perhaps. People may ask where the market is located, they may go to get a blue cheese cheeseball to take home for themselves. They may get the fancy crackers, maybe some dill dip or sourdough pretzels.


Thank you Toni. Not only for feeding the old man day in and day out, but for providing an opportunity for Dad to LIVE. To share his experiences, his recipes, his cheeseball.


Note: Toni is sending one of her grown kids over to get Dad this evening. She lives one driveway over in the sub-division. Dad and I laughed and giggled over that...and are both so appreciative.

Saturday, August 18, 2018

This One Goes Out To Sue


In Target last week I ran into Sue, a delightful, uplifting woman with whom I taught before moving to PA and having kids. Sue saw me through Mom having the stroke. She saw me through the raw beginning steps of the 11 year process of dealing with the ups and downs of life of a daughter of a stroke patient. We love Sue.

As we briefly talked, one of the first things Sue said was "I miss your Mom."

Now, Sue had never met Mom face to face. All of her knowledge came through lengthy emails and eventually through this blog. Early on Sue printed all my emails, placed them in a fun red folder, and said I needed to write a book about our family's experiences in dealing with a stroke in our family. That was close to 12 years ago. Sue misses my Mom because I haven't written about Mom since May and certainly not as often as I had since Mom died. Note taken.

I remember asking the social worker assigned to Mom while she did her initial physical, occupational and speech therapy at Chambersburg Hospital "Is there a book out there I can read, like My Mom Had a Stroke Now What Do I Do?'" He replied no and handed me all his pamphlets explaining how a stroke happens and treatment, nothing personalized. I vowed I would write a book to personalize the experience...and here I am 12 years later, no book.

Sue and I exchanged hugs and stories and went on our way. Remember Sue.

About  a  month ago a sweaty, well-dressed man knocked on my door and I actually answered it. Dave was going door-to-door because he is taking over the local Edward Jones office. He asked if I was interested in talking with him about our finances. I was interested and he took down my name and number. He called me last week and left a voicemail message. I called him back yesterday. John answered the phone, I explained why I was calling and he asked for my name. After spelling my last name for him he calmly said,

"Do you have any connections to Chambersburg, Pennsylvania?"
"Yes I do." My mind started to race.
"Do you have any connections to the St. Mary's County Public Schools?"
"Yes I do." My thoughts froze in my brain.
"My wife's name is Sue."

I was speechless. Right away I was grasping at the meaning behind this serendipitous moment. What was The Universe trying to convey by knocking me over the head with Sue and her missing Mom?

Time to update the blog.

Time to think about that book.

One step at a time, just doing the next right thing.

Here's Seven on Saturday, that's going to be my first step.

This one goes out to Sue and John, thanks for your support and encouragement.



We lived in a one bedroom apartment when we were between homes in the summer of 2015. Julie was 6 years old and getting ready to go to a party. Somehow she was on Youtube and saw the directions to make a Lady Gaga bow in her hair. I followed the directions and Julie was pleased. The pink dress was a birthday dress I had made for her. When all was said and done, that dress ended up having rips and tears and bicycle grease all over the bottom cause she wore the heck out of that thing. My girl was fancy and tough, still is.


Summer of 2015 I took Mom shopping at WalMart. She would wheel into the store in her own transport wheelchair then prop her feet up on the undercarriage of the store cart. I would precariously push Mom's chair while she pushed the cart. This is Mom's look for "I don't understand all you young people with taking all the pictures with your phone. Put that phone away cause we have some BUSINESS to take care of in this place."


Still in the one bedroom apartment in the summer of 2015. Joseph was 7 years old and figured out how to make certain musical sounds with his armpit. The pure joy he expressed over this feat caused my face to hurt, I was smiling so hard. Pure little boy joy.


Auntie Lisa took Julie to a festival at the local community college and texted me this pic. Look at those cheeks, my little girl.


Halloween 2015. Julie was Jasmine cause we found the high-end costume at the thrift store. Joe wanted to be Stampy Cat from a Minecrafter that they were obsessed with watching.


Mike created the costume to Joe's specifications. He used boxes from Radonworxs, the radon mitigation company that we rented our second story apartment from. Note the RadonAway box used for the head,


Since we lived above a business on a busy street, we went to my dear friend Kathy's neighborhood to trick or treat. Scroll back up top the first Halloween pic. Note the boxes on Joe's legs. They lasted to the end of Kathy's short driveway. Joe ended up ditching the whole costume except the head cause he kept falling. We adapted and Joe still got plenty of compliments.


Writing about this reminds me of past anxiety and how I dealt with it. I've gotten better about it over the past three years. Has it only been three years? Goodness that seems like 10 years ago. The days are long but the years are short, People.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

7 on Saturday

Truly I don't want to do a thing, but that's between me, my psychiatrist and my therapist.

I keep getting messages from The Universe...blog blog blog. I received another message today so I'm de-cloaking myself of blah for the next few moments and I'm taking action, People.

Here 'tis, as Granny Katherine used to say, 7 on Saturday. Those of you not familiar, I ditched my archaic slide phone ( it had a TYPEWRITER on it when you slid it open) and I didn't want to lose my pictures so I emailed them to myself and slowly but slowly I'm posting them here with frivolous  witty captions that keep me busy and off the streets.

Now back to it...

 In October of 2015 cousin Chase had his birthday party at St. Mary's College of Maryland's rec center. Most were too afraid to try the rock climbing wall.


 My baby, 6 years old at the time, climbed to the top. I don't know what happened, but now that she's 9 she won't go up 5 steps to enter the bathroom on her own. Go figure.


 This was taken in May of 2016, Mom had recently moved into the Manor.

 She was a little disgruntled about moving in, truly she knew a move was best for her but didn't want to do it.


 I had a heart to heart with her. "Mom. No one wants you to move out. No one. But sometimes we have to do what's best, and it may not be what we want." She lowered her head and nodded.


 It was an important moment for us. One that is inscribed on my brain.


It all worked out well, just the way it was suppose to. 

Hugs and kisses, People.