to your mother


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

This is How the Old Man Preps for a Blizzard

circa 2008

First things first, I use the term "Old Man" with all the love and respect I can muster. I use this label as a term of respect. In my book Old Man = wise one, one with experience, one who has been around the block a coupla times, one who has been there done that and bought the t-shirt. But I digress...

Some of you, especially east-coasters, may have been aware of a little storm a couple weeks ago. I believe some labeled it as Snowzilla and other such funny spins on "this bad boy is gonna dump a lot of snow on you all, so much that some people will prepare by purchasing enough toilet paper to last a few months". As I talked with Dad in the preceding days to this snowmageddon episode, we discussed his preparation. 

Dad is constantly thinking about food, meals... whatarewegoingtoeat would be this man's hashtag if he twittered or, well, whatever else for which you young'uns use hashtags.  

Three days before the forecasted snow-dump-a-thon:
Dad called the gas company to confirm that he had enough fuel to run the full house generator for a long period of time- check. He called his connection with the snowplow and was put on the list of people to dig out.

Two days before the forecasted snow-storm-of-the-century: 
Dad proudly told me of his meal plan for the days following the dump of white stuff from the sky.

One day before the forecasted snow-episode:
Dad proudly retold me of his meal plan, as if it was a fresh, new idea that day and he was chomping at the bit to tell me.

The morning of the snow-event:
Dad proudly retold me of his meal plan.

The first flake fell...
and Dad executed his snowed-in meal plan.
1. A call was put in to the Flamingo and the Chinese restaurant next to Walmart.
2. Dad drove to the Flamingo to pick up two home-style dinners with all the sides and fixin's (cottage cheese?!).
3. Dad drove to the Chinese restaurant next to Walmart to pick up two lunch specials.
4. Dad drove home and proudly served a small portion of his collected spoils for dinner.
5. Repeat the serving of portions of take out food for lunch and dinner over the next 3 days.

Throughout the storm:
Each time I talked with Dad, I received a report on what they ate and what portions were left. Regarding eating while being snowed-in, it was an easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy time for him. 

Come Monday after the storm:
When I reported to Mom that we had gotten out and Mike had picked up Chinese food, her reply was a dramatic "Oh NO!" When I asked her if we should bring up some of our leftovers to share with her, her reply was a quick and definite "NO!"...then a hardy laugh. At least The Lady kept her sense of humor.

This man? My Dad? Genius. Who needs long lines at the grocery store? Who needs to be cooking when you can enjoy watching the snow and NASCAR races on the television? After Dad has been coordinating meals for the past 9.5 years, I wouldn't expect anything less.