Joe doesn't like wiping his bum. Bribing goes a long way with this boy and it was no different this morning...
This Mama: Joe, how about 5 gummies if you wipe your bum.
That Boy: No, Mommy! You do it.
This Mama: Okay, how about 5 gummies and a quarter.
That Boy: No Mommy. (pause) How bout 5 gummies and 2 quarters.
This Mama: How about 5 gummies, a quarter and a trip to the Dollar Store.
That Boy: Wow! Dat Good one!
As I was writing this, that boy came dashing into the kitchen, dripping hands raised (washing hands and flushing is an unspoken expectation for the 5 gummies) with a smile circled with white crusty stuff.
This Mama: Wait, did you brush your teeth too?
That Boy: Yeah, I goooooooooood!
Now I'm wondering if I can wear my pj's to the dollar store...
Joe: (standing in my bedroom while I'm getting dressed) Ding Dong. who's there? Ding Dong, who's there?
This Mama: Joe, you waiting for someone to come in?
Joe: No Mommy, I tell a joke. Ding Dong, who's there?
This Mama: Who's there?
Joe: I not say banana!!!! (He falls out laughing...I'm not sure if he should quit his day job, that's all I'm sayin'.)