Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Life Isn't Always Sunshine and Giggles
As I look back upon various Word to Your Mother posts, most are uplifting, comical - full of pictures to oohhh and aahh over. Then there may be a brief pause in posting for awhile...then back to the stuff and giggles of which some days are made. I think it's about time to blog about LIFE. My LIFE to be specific.
Hold onto your panties. I will try to keep this brief, yet honest and to the point.
In my head, my life sucks. In my head, I am a horrible mother. In my head, I am obese. In my head, I am a neglectful sister and daughter. In my head, I am a slothful, undeserving wife. In my head, I am crazy. If you had all the vacation time in the world, you would never want to visit this world in my head. It's a yucky place to be. Upon meeting me, spending time with me, you would never believe any of this was going through my head...I put on a pretty good show.
Recently I have been diagnosed with conversion disorder, for the second time in two years. This time around I have lost my sense of taste and my sense of balance. I am taking this diagnosis a little bit more seriously this time as I realize this disorder is not just something to fix with upping the Prozac; it is a diagnosis that points to some serious personal work with which I need to do. I have a psychiatrist, behavioral counselor, close friends and family, and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous with which to work and get support. I believe this support system will help me to work on the yucky-craziness that amounts to the thoughts in my head , which may alleviate some of the pressures/ stress that rears it's head as conversion disorder in my life.
Nuff said. Anyone out there ever heard of conversion disorder? Experienced it first (or second) hand? This is NOT a post looking for "good thoughts about Peggy"...that will make me gag. This post is about me telling it like it is...I'll keep you posted on how all this is going.