Thursday, March 17, 2011
Today we forgot is school tote bag...AGAIN. That's okay, he rolls with the punches, I'm more bothered by it than he is.
We walk into the entryway of his preschool and are greeted with a sea of GREEN ...it's St. Patrick's Day, you know.
I'm talking green shirts, green tights, green socks, green ribbons, green shoes, green doodlie-boppers upon a head (not just the kids...even the token dad who made a guest appearance dropping off today was donned in a kelly green button-up shirt). I felt sick to my stomach. Joe had dressed himself today (as he does most days) and had made sure to let me know he put on underpants because he was going to school today (such a thoughtful boy to remember that this is important)...he chose a pair of jeans with no holes...and a red Spiderman shirt that is actually a pajama top but we all have to pick our battles and in the grand scheme of things, who cares about a pj shirt, truly?
Anyway, my point is that my kid was the only kid NOT wearing green at school today. My first thought...I'm such a bad mama. How would a three year old know to dress himself in green today? I went to one of his teachers to apologize about the tote bag and to share my grief over the red-clad-non-green-wearin'-non-leprechaun-supportin'-boy-with-the-last-name-of-MCALOON. She laughed and said "I guess we get to pinch him today!" How horrified I was, my kid will be pinched cause he's not wearing green and it's all my fault. The teacher gave me a cardboard shamrock and a piece of tape and I stuck it to his shirt saying "Today is St. Patrick's Day, wear green!" Joe had no idea what I was talking about and really didn't seem to care.
I promptly walked to the van and called Mom. I retold the horrors of my bad-mama-episode and mom laughed and laughed. She threw in a coupla "oh nos!" and "oh mys" and then settled down at the end of my story. Silence. "Mom, am I a bad Mama?" "No." "Mom, will Joe's day be ruined because of me?" "No." "Mom, do I need to get over myself?"... pause...she replied in a small, sweet voice "yes" then a roar of laughter from the lady who loves me so much.
Even though Mom doesn't speak worlds, I learn volumes from our conversations. This is what I know...
Wearing green is not the end-all-be-all of being a good mother.
Wearing green doesn't define who I am as a person.
Just because everyone else is wearing green doesn't mean that I have to wear green to be a good person.
I need to embrace who I am, realize that I'm not perfect.
I need to hold my head high and wear whatever color I'm wearing today with confidence and joy.
I need to know these things and believe these things so I can teach my son the same.
My son is happy, confident, caring, snuggly, thoughtful, spunky...just a good boy all around.
I'm a good mama.